All My Single Ladies...Guys Listen Up Too!

So I've been accused of being naive, of believing the best in people, giving them, all to often, the benefit of the doubt.  Basically, I'm nice. That being said, there is something in me that really feels for people who are down on their luck, having a hard time, trying without success to navigate life. I NEED TO STOP.  As a single woman in the world this can be an attractive quality to some, but mainly the people it attracts are, well, complete nutters, as the British would say. I'd like to give you a few examples of how my naivety, niceness, idiocy has created less than awesome situations for me. Here are three lovely narratives that illustrate my point quite plainly.  

Housing

During my initial search for housing in London I came across a beautiful home that was spacious, modern and only had one person living there.  I had seen the add previously but it had been listed at a higher price.  He said his name was Shawn and that he was a naturist.  I thought, cool he eats raw vegetables and he like being outside...while eating raw veggies?  So I responded to his email because the price was right and the place was beautiful.  Then I decided to double check and make sure I was positive what a "naturist" was.  After all he said I didn't have to join in, I just had to be cool with it.  I thought, "Eat all the raw veggies you want dude, wherever you want, no problem".  And then my Google search revealed:

Naturist: noun

1.

a person who appreciates the beauty and benefits of nature.

2.

a nudist.

The reason for the decrease in the price of the room suddenly registered.
Needless to say, when he responded, I politely declined. 

Bunk-mates

As I've said before, I try and give people the benefit of the doubt.  I need to be more leery and work on my "leave me alone" vibe or what is often referred to as BRF (Bitchy Resting Face), I suppose it goes without saying.  I had a person staying in my room who was older.  He was a nice enough person, but wasn't so keen on social cues.  At any time I encountered him, say coming home from school late in the evening, working on my school work, or whenever, he would follow me, say, downstairs to the kitchen and just sit, waiting for conversation.  He watched me eat, surf the internet, take out my contacts, put on deodorant (very attractive), brush my teeth, listen to music, watch a movie, do homework, and any number of other arbitrary tasks that I undertook after our brief hello.  

Gentlemen, I'd like to let you know that this is the surest way to creep the hell out of someone and make them want to buy pepper spray by the gallon.  It's not flattering, it's unnerving and boarders, no, it is a full on stalker move.  NOT COOL!

By Invitation ONLY!

So, I'm a girl, if you're just figuring this out, please unsubscribe to my blog.  And I'm totally a fan of men, again, if you're just figuring this out...and when a tall, nerdy type (like Kryptonite to Superman) approaches me in the kitchen at the hostel and starts chatting me up, I WAS NICE!  My first problem. I thought he was interesting because he was from Guernsey, the channel islands between Britain and France. I had just read a book in book club (thank you Mrs. Hannah) called "The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society" that took place on Guernsey, and I was ecstatic to meet a resident...and he told me I was interesting.  EFFFF!  So we ate and talked.  The WIFI in the hostel was crap for some reason, so he suggested we walk half a block to McDonalds for coffee.  It seemed harmless and he paid...girls gotta eat, right? We had quite a bit in common. One of his favorite scenes from a movie turned out to be the scene in Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory when they take the glass elevator through the roof. WHAT?!  If you know me in any capacity at all, you are completely aware that that is my FAVORITE movie!  I really didn't think that I would find a person as quirky (to put it mildly) as me, who spoke my dialect of nerd, and yet, could he be sitting right in front of me?! PLAY IT COOL, PLAY. IT. COOL. Apparently some guys are into girls who sweat while standing still?

We talked for quite a while and in an oh-so-smooth segue, he asked if the place I was staying had a couch.  My response "I'm staying in the hostel." So then he continued to ask if it would be okay for him to couch surf in my apartment once I'd moved.  I immediately got quiet.  He pointed out that I got quiet.  What was I supposed to say!?  "Oh sure, why don't we just start flat searching right now, why wait?"  

Gentlemen, this is not normal or okay in any sense of the word. So, if any of you were thinking of leading off with this, you may as well flash her and be done with it.  If she sticks around...well she won't, so I'm not even going to humor you.

So for the last few hours I've been working on my BRF so as to prevent any further situations from arising.

It isn't easy being a single lady on the mean streets of London.  

That's about it, I just really needed to get that out there. :)

If you would like more on BRF see Anna Paquin BRF on Jay Leno, very funny!