Progress

Well, it's been a while and there has been much positive progress.  I honestly believe the Lord's timing is perfect and has a beautiful, immaculately timed rhythm. I can see these divine orchestrations as they come in healing waves just when things seem impossible, overwhelming, bleak.

I had to rebook my room at the hostel once again. When this happens, I have little control over where it is that I may be staying.  Up to this point, I'd been fortunate to be able to stay in the same room for 10 consecutive days.  The room held 12 people, but for the most part all of them were relatively normal.  For the most part...
I ended up having to move rooms, not once but twice, due to the hostel being booked solid.  So the plan was to get up, pack my suitcases, check out of room one and check into room two, stay the night, repack, and move rooms again.  Please remember that there are NO elevators in this God forsaken hostel and I should also mention that there are two separate staircases that go to two different sides of the hostel and do not connect whatsoever, so if I was moved into the other side of the hostel, I may have died.  Needless to say I became best friends with the front desk staff as soon as I found this out; they think I'm funny or maybe they're humoring me because they think I'm crazy.  This might have something to do with the fact that I tried to check out a day early, I honestly didn't know what day it was.  I drug my carcass up to the desk looking like I had just gone through a car wash (furious early morning packing will do this to...well..me) only to find out that my check out wasn't until the next day. Yeah, oops!

I was dreading hauling my suitcases down one flight of stairs and up another and then down again the next day and back up.  I'm seriously sweating just thinking about the trip.  I should also mention the fact that I have looked like a homeless person for the last month, because no matter how many times I blow-dry, straighten, straighten, blow-dry my hair, by the time I get down the blessed stairs, my hair has staged a coup with the help of any moisture present and I look like I've run through a sprinkler.
Moving on.
Needless to say the Lord provided and I was able to keep from having to move twice and only up another flight of stairs on the same side of the building.  Cue chorus (movin' on up, to the top, to a delux apartment in the sky-hi-hi).
I moved into a eight bed room penthouse, okay, not really, but it is on the top floor.  I will say that it seems the higher up in the hostel I am, the further from the crazies I get, I think it's cause the air is thinner? Mouth breathers prefer the thick, dank air of the basement? I'm still trying to work this out, maybe it's because the further from the basement and into society they get the harder it is to function?  Your thoughts are welcome.
When I got into the room, it was much more open in terms of space and the people were amazing.  The first person I met was Avi. He's a doctor born in England, transplanted to India, and back to England, who happens to be looking for a flat as well.  Avi is the kindest, most generous and helpful person I've ever met.  He is selfless in the truest sense and is the one in the room that looks out for everyone.  I tease him and tell him that he's the team mom and ask if we'll have orange slices and juice boxes at half time.  He has in his own search for apartments found several places for me as well and often reminds me of things I need to do. An example of this is when I was getting things together this morning and I was thinking about what I'd forgotten to do, he said "Steph, you need to brush your teeth."  Yep, my brain seriously couldn't pull that one out.  No joke. I'm so grateful for Avi as are all the people I encountered that day were, because he reminded me to brush my teeth. :)

Then there is Samuel.  Sam is Swiss and is working at Imperial College researching polymers in an attempt to find a way to create electronics without the use of metals.  So cool! Sam is also looking for a flat. Sam is funny, kind, honest and incredibly interesting.  He has done so many things in his life and I am amazed at his desire to know more and experience new things.  He also cares for people in a similar way to Avi and I've been so grateful for theses guys!
Next there is Andy.  Andy is from Australia and is just ending his travels in London.  Andy is a construction manager in Melbourne and has some of the coolest tattoos I've ever seen.  He is incredibly well traveled and has an easy way about him.  He is also very well read, loves music and movies and is incredibly funny.  Andy is 22 and has seen so much of the world because any time he gets a break from work, he's traveling.  We celebrated Andy's birthday on the 25th and the entire night he kept saying, thank you and telling us how nice we were.  You are too Andy, that's why we're celebrating.

Finally, there is Marco.  Marco is Italian and Brazilian.  He speaks at least four languages (French, Portuguese, Italian and English) and has come to London to improve his English because he got a coupon in the mail for a week long course in London. I like your style Marco. Marco has an incredible grasp of humor and is an eager student.  He finds my English easier to understand than the British, so he is always asking questions.  One of the funniest moments with Marco has been trying to explain what tighty whities are.  Avi was pantomiming and looking up pictures, I was desperately trying to think of words like "Speedo" or "Banana Hammock" (yeah, cause that translates?), Andy was in stitches on the floor.  Needless to say it is never boring around here.

I also have to mention Nils.  Nils is German and was in my pervious room.  He is working at Fashion Week in London and wants to become a model as well as an actor.  Nils has an old soul and at the ripe old age of 21 has an incredible drive, a solid knowledge of who he is, as well as foresight and determination to create the life for himself that he desires.  He is also looking for a flat and has just enrolled in acting classes in London.

Each of these people have brought something different into my life and I can honestly say that my time in the hostel has been filled with purpose as these people have enriched my life and taught me things I never would have learned otherwise.  I was talking with my friend Julia and she pointed out that because I live in the hostel, I am able to meet people and create friendships outside of school.  And that's really the point isn't it?  In leaving one community the Lord has provided another one in which we all connected by our shared experiences.  We are able to embrace each other because there is a spoken and unspoken understanding of transition and displacement, but also of pursued dreams and desires.  It has made things so much easier knowing we're in the same boat.  It is humbling and encouraging to live amongst such inspiring and genuinely good people.
Andy and Marco will leave for there respective homes in a day or so, however, I'm confident we'll all be seeing one another in the future.  

P.S. I found a flat and have already moved in. More to come on that, but I'll say that it's a little piece of heaven and feels like a refuge.  Samuel and Nils have also found places, and Avi, I know, will find one shortly, so send some prayers his way!

Hard Times

Today is a tough day.  It's days like this I knew were inevitable, but I didn't expect one so soon.

I looked at my sister Bekah's blog today  (and if you haven't I suggest you do keepondancinglife.blogspot.com ) and I see how much is going on at home and it's hard.  So much is changing and I'm only able to see it through pictures, blogs, emails and phone calls.  I'm thankful for this, please don't misunderstand.  But there is something to be said about hugs and kisses and playing and talking face to face.  Today the world between here and home feels a universe away.

Bekah thank you for the pictures of K's birthday, it was a beautiful party.  There is so much to celebrate near and far.

All My Single Ladies...Guys Listen Up Too!

So I've been accused of being naive, of believing the best in people, giving them, all to often, the benefit of the doubt.  Basically, I'm nice. That being said, there is something in me that really feels for people who are down on their luck, having a hard time, trying without success to navigate life. I NEED TO STOP.  As a single woman in the world this can be an attractive quality to some, but mainly the people it attracts are, well, complete nutters, as the British would say. I'd like to give you a few examples of how my naivety, niceness, idiocy has created less than awesome situations for me. Here are three lovely narratives that illustrate my point quite plainly.  

Housing

During my initial search for housing in London I came across a beautiful home that was spacious, modern and only had one person living there.  I had seen the add previously but it had been listed at a higher price.  He said his name was Shawn and that he was a naturist.  I thought, cool he eats raw vegetables and he like being outside...while eating raw veggies?  So I responded to his email because the price was right and the place was beautiful.  Then I decided to double check and make sure I was positive what a "naturist" was.  After all he said I didn't have to join in, I just had to be cool with it.  I thought, "Eat all the raw veggies you want dude, wherever you want, no problem".  And then my Google search revealed:

Naturist: noun

1.

a person who appreciates the beauty and benefits of nature.

2.

a nudist.

The reason for the decrease in the price of the room suddenly registered.
Needless to say, when he responded, I politely declined. 

Bunk-mates

As I've said before, I try and give people the benefit of the doubt.  I need to be more leery and work on my "leave me alone" vibe or what is often referred to as BRF (Bitchy Resting Face), I suppose it goes without saying.  I had a person staying in my room who was older.  He was a nice enough person, but wasn't so keen on social cues.  At any time I encountered him, say coming home from school late in the evening, working on my school work, or whenever, he would follow me, say, downstairs to the kitchen and just sit, waiting for conversation.  He watched me eat, surf the internet, take out my contacts, put on deodorant (very attractive), brush my teeth, listen to music, watch a movie, do homework, and any number of other arbitrary tasks that I undertook after our brief hello.  

Gentlemen, I'd like to let you know that this is the surest way to creep the hell out of someone and make them want to buy pepper spray by the gallon.  It's not flattering, it's unnerving and boarders, no, it is a full on stalker move.  NOT COOL!

By Invitation ONLY!

So, I'm a girl, if you're just figuring this out, please unsubscribe to my blog.  And I'm totally a fan of men, again, if you're just figuring this out...and when a tall, nerdy type (like Kryptonite to Superman) approaches me in the kitchen at the hostel and starts chatting me up, I WAS NICE!  My first problem. I thought he was interesting because he was from Guernsey, the channel islands between Britain and France. I had just read a book in book club (thank you Mrs. Hannah) called "The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society" that took place on Guernsey, and I was ecstatic to meet a resident...and he told me I was interesting.  EFFFF!  So we ate and talked.  The WIFI in the hostel was crap for some reason, so he suggested we walk half a block to McDonalds for coffee.  It seemed harmless and he paid...girls gotta eat, right? We had quite a bit in common. One of his favorite scenes from a movie turned out to be the scene in Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory when they take the glass elevator through the roof. WHAT?!  If you know me in any capacity at all, you are completely aware that that is my FAVORITE movie!  I really didn't think that I would find a person as quirky (to put it mildly) as me, who spoke my dialect of nerd, and yet, could he be sitting right in front of me?! PLAY IT COOL, PLAY. IT. COOL. Apparently some guys are into girls who sweat while standing still?

We talked for quite a while and in an oh-so-smooth segue, he asked if the place I was staying had a couch.  My response "I'm staying in the hostel." So then he continued to ask if it would be okay for him to couch surf in my apartment once I'd moved.  I immediately got quiet.  He pointed out that I got quiet.  What was I supposed to say!?  "Oh sure, why don't we just start flat searching right now, why wait?"  

Gentlemen, this is not normal or okay in any sense of the word. So, if any of you were thinking of leading off with this, you may as well flash her and be done with it.  If she sticks around...well she won't, so I'm not even going to humor you.

So for the last few hours I've been working on my BRF so as to prevent any further situations from arising.

It isn't easy being a single lady on the mean streets of London.  

That's about it, I just really needed to get that out there. :)

If you would like more on BRF see Anna Paquin BRF on Jay Leno, very funny! 

Finding Balance, Losing Sleep, and Abundant Provision

Having been in London a full week, I have been able to take in the things around me incrementally.  The city is alive, diverse, constantly moving, it pulsates with a kind of tangible energy.  Needless to say the ADD child inside of me is easily distracted by all the stimuli and I'm constantly having to reign myself in, as no one else around me is as elated to be here or impressed by their surroundings.  I'm sure this will wear off, but I'm not anticipating it anytime soon.

At this point I've worked out a routine and have set routes from here to there.  I have class three days a week, but there are also lots of day trips and optional outings allowing opportunities for me to see more and more of the city and surrounding area.  Although I only have class three days a week, the reading is extensive and I worry that if I don't take every opportunity to read, I'll get behind.  It's a balancing act.  Often the trips we take are on our off days so I have to make decisions based on my progress on the classwork.  These trips have become my incentive to get things done right away.  Essentially they are the cheese that keeps me motivated. And yes, I said cheese, not carrot, because lets just be honest here, I LOVE cheese and would get so many more miles out of a piece tied in front of me than I would a lousy carrot!

I'm still staying in the hostel which is itself a microcosm of the city and possesses an almost hive like busyness.  People coming and going, meeting and talking, out late, up early, new faces daily. As there is no place I am able to be alone, or a place that is quiet, I have struggled to feel settled.  I have, however, found a place near campus to study.  The Kensington library has an incredible collection of art books, as well as a huge study area that requires quiet at all times.  I have never in my life been happier to be in a library.  This will be the place over the next few weeks in which I will spend countless hours, as it feels like a refuge. That being said, it has also made me keenly aware of just how easily entertained I am.  When registering for my library card, I was given a choice of designs, NO JOKE!  It's like picking the design for your credit card, but much nerdier.  Yeah, needless to say, I was pumped.  Then I began to realize what this card represented and what it would say about me. I started sweating, okay, honestly, I'm in a perpetual state of perspiration, but I did get a little nervous.  I looked over the cards and eventually picked the edgy and modern graffiti card.  Yeah, that's me!  However, the girls in my cohort thought, without a doubt, I was a dead ringer for the dinosaur card?  PSH, whatev, they obviously don't know how HIP and COOL I am.
Yeah, I scream dinosaur, I've accepted it!  :)

I have had a hard time sleeping, but take every opportunity to do so in my oh, so cozy bottom bunk, yeah, that's right, bottom bunk!  As I've been told by Alex, whom I refer to as the social director of the room, "only the cool people have bottom bunks". YES, FINALLY!!!!  With this knowledge I immediately rebooked my room in order to nail down my cool status for at least 5 more days.  Whew! I'm earning this library card one day at a time.

As I've said before, I love the girls in my cohort.  They are smart, beautiful, determined women who have so much insight and experience to bring to every discussion.  I feel privileged to be sitting at the same table.  They are also warm, considerate and caring.  After a night of very little sleep, Amity asked if I needed a hug.  I did.  I am so lucky to be in the midst of these women and have so much to learn.  I can only begin to imagine what this year has in store.  So far I've spent a good deal with Julia and Sara. Both girls are in their 30's and made me feel right at home almost immediately.  They are my go to girls and we seem to understand each other and connect on many levels. They navigate the city and all it's challenges with ease; I tag along.  I am so thankful for them!

I have been provided for in every way possible and I'm thankful daily for the Lord's provisions, whether it be a warm bed, hot shower, a quiet place to study, a friendly smile or a hug, His provisions are abundant and that has been clear from the beginning.

Learning Experience...

Okay folks, things just got real!  

I'm officially a European traveler, as I can say that I've stayed in a hostel.  Actually, I'm currently staying in a hostel.  I woke up this morning awaiting a phone call that didn't come, a phone call in regards to a housing arrangement.  I'm not going to say there wasn't a moment or TEN of panic and there were even a few tears shed.  Then I put on my big girl panties (sorry those of you who have an aversion to the word panties), spent some time pleading with the Lord for guidance and for things to just work out...and then I realized that I had some choices to make and needed to be proactive.  So, I got online and booked myself a hostel.  I was extremely hesitant about this, but was able to book five nights for the equivalent of half the rate of a single night at my hotel.  

So remember those massive suitcases I've been hauling all over? I still am.  I checked out of my room and left my bags at the hotel so that I could go to Starbucks. It's a place that feels like home to me and it also has air conditioning.  I was able to collect myself a bit while I had some coffee and then went back to the hotel.  I asked the gal to call a taxi for me and I left.  

So, riding in a taxi is an experience all in itself in London.  Lets just say that if your suitcases are on wheels you should lay them on their side when riding in a cab.  I might have a bruise from a suitcase that slammed into my knee as we suddenly changed lanes and stopped simultaneously. I was also warned that the black cabs are very expensive, so I was nervous when one pulled up for me at the hotel.  It cost me about $30 to go 3.7 miles.  Lesson learned, but I was dreading trying to lug suitcases up the stairs and was sure that the gaggle of Portuguese Middle Schoolers was a once-in-a-lifetime-pulled-it-out-of-nowhere God moment.  I'll pay the money.  Did I also mention that there are precious few elevators in London? Something I was completely unaware of before packing two enormous suitcases.  It's amazing the little things I take for granted.  Most of the buildings are older than the U.S. so elevators are precious few and mostly in more modern buildings.  When I got to the hostel, the girl at the front desk looked at me in disbelief.  I'm sure I've given every American a bad name by this point, so no need to thank me!  OOPS!  She was awesome though, and helped me tote them up the two flights of stairs to my room.  Let me say that if you are planning on coming to Europe anytime soon, start doing squats NOW!  I think I may at this point be able to "crush man's scull between thighs" (anyone get the reference? Wreck it Ralph? Anyone? No?).  I've never sweat so much in my life!  

I was the second person to arrive in the room.  Which I am glad of, as the bunks are three high. As soon as I saw them was having visions of crushing people as I came crashing through the top bunk in the middle of the night or getting a leg cramp half way up the ladder and clobbering some innocent bystander.  I digress.  I was greeted by Alex, he is British and Turkish and gave me a proper English greeting, which is a kiss on both cheeks (on my face, creeps!).  I apologized profusely as I was sweating like a whore in church.  He was very nice.  I immediately excused myself and passed out on the bed.  I slept for a few hours and when I woke up, there were more people in the room.  The room I'm in has 12 beds in total.  By now almost all of them are full.  There are people from Australia, Sweden, Finland and Germany.  Everyone is incredibly friendly and have interesting stories to tell about their travels.  I'm much more comfortable here than I thought I would be and feel that my stay will be memorable; not in the worst-mistake-of-my-life kind of way, but more in a wow-I'm-much-more-resiliant-that-I-ever-thought, kind of way.  

I have also been given a crash course in currency.  I went into a Starbucks near the hostel and met Jimmy.  Jimmy is studying architecture while working as a barista and moonlights as a currency tutor for ignorant tourist types.  Oh, and there was a quiz!  I've really only been using my debit card, so this was my first go-round with money.  The English love their coins and there are quite a few of them.  Jimmy told me all of their values and even gave me a one pence and two/five? pence because I didn't have any of those and was surprised that they were copper.  He was probably just trying to make me go away.  He also gave me cake, so there were mixed signals.  Anyway, we also covered a few different bills as they have different looks, just as our newer bills.  Then he quizzed me at the end.  I found out that Jimmy dislikes studying columns and building styles during his architecture studies just as much as I hate Math and we found common ground in that we both found them pointless.  I like to group learning currency in with Math. I did, however, pass the test, but with a B-, which in my program, is failing!

What I'm getting at is this: There are times in life when the answers don't seem clear cut or easy and the uncertainty seems paralyzing.  But you have to take risks in order to know your true capacity.  For me the challenge has been incredibly telling.  I'm stronger than I thought and there is a sort of confidence I feel knowing that I'm managing and that things are going to be okay.  It is in this that I see the Lord's provision. He provided a situation that would stretch me and test my limitations and ultimately make me stronger and more reliant on Him. I think we often see these as the times that God has "abandoned" us, but in all honesty, he's just taking the training wheels off.  He knows we can do it, but we have to believe that we can, and trust that He's not going to let us get hurt beyond the point of repair.  

  

I now have a wild night ahead of me...my "roommates" are all going out drinking and...I'm going to do some homework. Don't be jealous! :)

The Funny Thing About Faith...

There is something to be said about faith.  That something is, once you claim to have it, it will immediately be tested, so watch your words!  :)  This entire process has been a lesson in faith that had changed me tremendously.  It began last November and continues to this very second.  It's easy to assume that in the process of the journey my part has always been done and that I'm on top of things.  Things have fallen through just as easily as they have come together.  However, if we base all our decisions on the things that have come together, they are likely to fall apart.  I'm not being a cynic, I'm just saying that if we always rely on those concrete, tangible things, are we really exercising a huge amount of faith? For me it was all about baby steps. I needed things to be worked out before, say, I quit my job. Seriously Steph, don't be such a chicken!  I know, right!?  So, I thought things were set and I quit my job and everything I thought was in place fell through.  Enter desperate FaceBook plea for a renter!!  Enter funding crisis...I have additional funding, I don't, I do, I don't....living off savings, gonna get a part time job....I have, have, have the funding T-minus one week and counting.  Needless to say, I didn't post during this time as it would have been a bunch of whimpering and blubbering about, well, faith.  OOPS!   Then there was a Visa delay. Apparently you need to be finger printed or something ridiculous like that, in order to verify your identity if you want to live in another country...Anywho!  After canceling tickets, rebooking, housing being set and then falling through, I left!  There were a few times I wondered if this was just me trying to push my agenda and make my plans happen; but I will say most definitely, that this is where I'm supposed to be and what I'm supposed to be doing.  

Leaving...And More On Prayer

I left the US with no accommodations awaiting me on the other side.  As I said before, things fell through last minute, however, I wasn't overly concerned (that may be the Prozac, just saying!).  Merilyn, the same Merilyn that has been praying with me and for me this entire process, as well as Johanna and Bryan saw me off at the airport.  Merilyn prayed that I would meet people to help me along the way.  She also prayed that I wouldn't talk to strange men?!  Apparently she's been talking to my parents about the time I befriended a wino at Lake Lowell when I was five.  Needless to say, I only encountered amazingly helpful and generous people.  
Let me break this down for you...can I get a beat!  Kidding! 
On the trip from Boise to San Francisco I sat beside the amazing Maryanne.  She was returning home after four years of living in Budapest.  She was stopping over in Boise to see friends and hadn't even made it home yet.  She has lived in Russia, India, Hungry and a few other places.  She is single and has moved all over the world by herself.  She works for the U.S. Embassy and had so much great advice to impart on my willing ears!  What a blessing!!  At this point I began to see Merilyn's prayers unfolding and the Lord's hand around me.  
I made my connecting flight with no trouble.  On the flight to Frankfurt I sat in the very last row of the plane.  There were four seats across and the middle two were empty; on the other end was Jim.  He is a flight attendant and was flying back to Cologne from California. He is originally from Seattle and he and his partner Toby now live in Cologne because they like the pace of life there.  Jim was so friendly and incredibly helpful.  It didn't hurt that he knew all the attendants on the plane.  He gave me drink vouchers, this incredible amenities kit that he swiped from First Class, as well as a few glasses of wine.  Oh, the Lord provides and I'm not just talking about the wine! :) Jim told me that when I got off the plane in London there would be a tourism booth that could help book a hotel.  He also gave me a standing invitation to visit Cologne, which I intend to do.  
My flight to London was uneventful, but was really a time for me to process everything.  I got off the plane and my bags were waiting... does this really happen, I changed planes three times!?!?!  Hand of God.  I then went to the tourism counter where I met Faith....yeah, I know right!?!  Faith booked my hotel, gave me directions from the Tube station to my hotel and sent me on my way.  She was kind, beautiful and very helpful.  
I was hesitant to take my enormous suitcases on the Tube, but Faith said it would be okay. For the most part it was.  At this point I'd like to tell you that my suitcases initially weighted 70 and 56 pounds.  I downsized at the airport, and with Bryan's help weighed and weighed and weighed my suitcases until they were the right poundage.  Lets just say that paying $600 for a second suitcase that's overweight will put things into perspective QUICKLY!!  
I got off at my stop and was feeling confident as I navigated the crowded Tube station.  Oh humility, I have missed you!  I turned the corner and was confronted by humility herself in the physical form of two flights of stairs.  I took one step and tried to drag my suitcases behind me and came out of my shoe and was pulled back to the bottom step immediately.  So I stood there sweating, yep, that's about it, I felt like Cinder"smelly".  I know, bad joke!   I was considering taking one up the stairs and going back for the other one, when a group of Portuguese Middle Schoolers came upon me and carried my bags up the stairs.  Yes, it took a literal herd of middle schoolers to get these suckers up the stairs.  Very humbling.  I was incredibly thankful, to say the least.  I got directions from the attendant in the Tube stations and was headed for my hotel.  At least I thought.  I turned and turned and found myself lost quicker than I realized.  I stopped to ask a woman and she had no idea what the Lancaster Hotel was.  Then Gemma, a Nurse, who was just getting off work, and happened to overhear, asked me the address to the place I was looking for.  I lost my shit and in response, Gemma whipped out her phone, took one of my bags and we were off to my hotel.  It took her a few calls and the stopping of a few strangers before the hotel was found.  I am eternally grateful for Gemma.  If I see her again, I will buy her a pint...or four.  
Needless to say, prayer is real and Merilyn can bring the rain!!! :)  I know she tells me that it isn't true, but I'm convinced she has God's direct line...on speed dial!  :)
I begin orientation tomorrow, but I feel that I have already been given more valuable information than words can express.